Screencraft Horror Competition 2020
Written by analyst 58C1C on April 11th, 2020
More than any other quality, the darkly relatable way you present your concept ends up capturing the reader's attention. There's never a time where you simplify the way your horror is born from the prejudices and oppressively backwards nature of the characters' environments, allowing you to handle these difficult themes in a more compelling, affecting manner as a result.
Your opening descriptions of the rural suburbs is brilliantly stated - setting up the tone and themes of the storytelling to come in a sharp, stylish fashion. There's a literary flair to this opening that feels apt, and which does not slow down the narrative's momentum in any way. You make sure to avoid this type of commentary moving through the rest of the script, allowing you to get away with this moment of narrative flair in a beneficial manner.
When you begin jumping into the macabre horror at the narrative's core, the reader becomes that much more unsettled by your gruesome concept. You've got a talent for writing frightening, brutal moments, and this helps you keep the reader on edge throughout the script's latter half.
The way you have the characters discuss the concept of evil, and what's ethical in the fight against evil, becomes another highly relatable, memorable aspect of how you handle the project's themes. If not for your success in this area, the screenplay would not have concluded in nearly as satisfying a fashion.
The convincing portrayals of Willow and Faye that you've laid down in the current draft become another key element that ensures the reader becomes quickly invested in the conflict at hand. There's a three-dimensional, often-relatable nature to their struggles - and we see them growing in violent, yet still relatable, ways throughout the screenplay.
The way you've laid down their sibling-centric connection, in particular, has a convincing, finessed execution to it. You're able to explore the characters in a more effortlessly detailed, fluid manner thanks to your success in this key area of your screenplay's characterization.
Characterization is handled in a strong, stylish fashion throughout the rest of the screenplay as well. Especially when it comes to physical descriptions of characters, and their introductions, you make their personalities feel vibrant and tangible on the page. Once we get into the more horror-centric areas of the script, your success in this area becomes notably beneficial as well.
Scene description is written in a consistently stylized, engrossing manner - allowing the reader to feel much more immersed in the storytelling as a result. You've got a clear grasp over the cinematic medium you're working within, as you write in a way that feels tailor-fit for the script-to-screen adaptation process ahead of you.
It's easy to imagine this concept intriguing a wide range of audience members and demographics. While the rural and suburb-centric themes that run throughout the script will be most compelling to those who grew up in similar areas, you make the themes embedded into the narrative compelling in many other relatable ways as well.
Lastly, you apply an effective, focused sense of structure to the piece - ensuring that each scene has a clear narrative or atmospheric purpose. Moving forward, no major revisions are needed to make the screenplay feel ripe for production, and ready for the competitive marketplace ahead of you.
Screencraft Horror Competition 2020
Feedback has been edited
Written by analyst 43E72 on August 14th, 2020
This script is an enjoyable read and it has many great aspects in it. One of the strongest elements in the script is the conflict and the escalation of conflict. From the very beginning, the characters struggle with their violent father. This struggle leads to a more sinister conflict in the abandoned house. The escalation sufficiently keeps the audience on their toes and it makes the story very intriguing.
The tone and the genre conventions in the script are also very strong. The author breaks up the dark tone with heartfelt and humorous moments. These moments make the story stronger and it helps the characters feel relatable. The sisterly dynamic is wonderful and it is a great contrast to the violence that they are subjected to. The genre conventions in the script are also fantastic. GENE is a terrifying monster and DICK is equally as scary, despite being fully human. The scares and tension are consistent throughout the script and the tone works well.
Furthermore, the conclusion to the script is satisfying. The characters realistically end up at a point in the story that makes sense. The ending is somewhat of a cliffhanger, but it makes room for some awesome possibilities in the future. … The ending is spunky and it works as a fitting conclusion to the script.
Screencraft Horror Competition 2020
Feedback has been edited
Written by analyst 5FB26 on September 4th, 2020
(Your) voice is incredibly strong and engaging. The opening lines of action description suck the reader in and establish the tone and setting extremely well. "We linger on the open secondhand shop, lit up like a mosquito trap." This line is amazing. It is extremely effective at conveying the tone and gives a great visual at the same time while being succinct. "A framed print of a bemused Caucasian Jesus stands guard over the yellow walled kitchen." Caucasian is the perfect adjective to use, it is a great signal to the audience and ties into the themes later in the script. "Willow flops onto the ground, all the vitality of a wet leaf." This line has great visual language.
The social commentary is interesting and relevant to the times. … If you wanted a state to set this in Ohio would be a good choice because it is notorious for the volume of human trafficking victims that go through there.