Cinema Cemetery

Why I Love Working on Movies

Much to my horror, the most viewed, liked, commented on, and shared video I’ve ever made is a Cinema Cemetery episode entitled “You Don’t Want to Work in VFX”. Now I still stand by everything I said in the episode but I’ve been concerned for a while that people may be taking it for more than what it is...one side of the coin. A list of negatives assembled in a singular streaming onslaught to the senses, not a nuanced picture but in all fairness my disclaimer on the video DID state this pretty clearly.

Despite this, here are the types of comments on that video that concern me:

“So worried of my future now , I followed my dream and now  :(” (1)

I agree that reality can be concerning, but would you rather follow your dream off a cliff with or without a parachute of knowledge and preparation strapped to your back beforehand?

“Wow.  There goes my dreams...” (1)

All it took to kill your dream is an overview of the obstacles facing you? If it really is your dream to work in vfx, you’re going to have to work very hard both to get in and to stay in. All dreams take hard work.

“This video just devastated me,  5 years of learning thrown away?...” (1)

What? Why? No. Nothing has been thrown away, consider the information presented in the video as part of your learning. Be part of the solution to the problems I mentioned. It’s natural to be concerned and disturbed by the state of the vfx industry but don’t let your 5-year journey end because a youtube video told you that you’re in for a tough time.

“Don't like?  Quit.” (1)

No u.

And the comments go on and on, some super insightful and some missing the point entirely. I totally encourage everyone to read through some of the longer comment threads on the original video as they bring up some great points and include everyone from industry professionals to hobbyists to students not sure in which direction they’re going! It’s generally pretty great stuff!

ALL. THAT. SAID.

The time has come to bring balance to the force. I want to take the time to talk about why I LOVE working on movies! When was that pivotal moment you said to yourself, yeah...I want to make movies! For some it’s a slow process getting there, for others it’s a switch thrown.

In my case, I was twelve years old. It was my birthday and I had gotten the old beat up family camcorder as a gift. From then on I was making terrible movies constantly, I haven’t stopped since. It’s who I am, who I’ve always been. Professionally I work as a matte painter on big-budget, wide release films while making personal shorts on my own time at home, running this youtube channel, and writing feature length screenplays.. It’s a lot of work, a bit like working four full time jobs, but I hope to one day start my own studio and make my own movies. That’s not just going to happen, so I have to work crazy hard to try to make it happen. But what do I love about working in vfx and filmmaking in general? What is just so addictive about the process that I can’t stop no matter how stressful or crazy it can get?

Part of the answer is that it’s therapy! I have trouble calming my mind, it’s constantly filling with story ideas, characters, funny gags, spooky moments, one-liners, and tear-jerking resolutions that some days I fear it will blow up like a balloon and pop. Making a short film for me is like releasing a little air from a dangerously overfilled balloon. A lot of people talk about the stories they want to tell but they never tell them. I can’t control my career as much as I would like to but I can at least control my own work ethic. I tell my stories and try to make each new one better than the last. I can’t compare them to the works of others or I’ll spiral into depression, I just have to do my best and selectively ignore my inner critic. So if I wasn’t making films and telling stories I wouldn’t be expressing myself and if I wasn’t able to express myself then I wouldn’t be me. Essentially, I make movies because I must. I enjoy them because I enjoy existing.

But what about my paying job working in VFX and Animation? I’m not really the storyteller there, not really making many creative choices, not really expressing myself. How does that fit in? Well, I see it this way. At my job I am paid to hone the skills I’ll need to be better at making my own films. It’s a paid education. I’m a hard worker not because I’m married to a company or film I’m working on, I’m a hard worker because the more I learn and grow, the better I’ll become at what I really want to do...make my own movies.

This is why I can put up with a lot of the problems affecting the VFX and Animation industries, it’s not my home. It’s an important stage in my journey and I have to focus on both enjoying it and learning from it rather than allow the industry to become my master, my purpose.

On a related note, that reminds me of yet another addictive quality to filmmaking at every level. Mastery is impossible. There is always room for growing, learning, expanding, and experimenting. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been in the field, you will frequently encounter unexpected problems to solve. The worst people I’ve ever worked within the industry are the ones who have decided that they’ve learned everything they need to know. That kind of thinking is not only pure laziness and ego but it always means that someone is going to have to clean up the mess they leave behind when the shot they’re working on doesn’t go as planned!

For some people, the idea of a never-ending education and life of daily problem solving may not sound appealing. For people like me, it’s one of the major addictive factors involved! I live for this stuff!

Something else I LOVE about working on someone else’s movie is seeing shots progress from rough storyboard or layout through the pipeline to the final render. It’s so ridiculously satisfying to see the transformation and then to see the final movie on the big screen. It always feels like a funeral in a way, like you’re glad they died because they stressed you out but you’re also a little proud of them. The end of a movie is always bittersweet. I love reading and watching reviews of movies I’ve worked on. Terrible reviews for a movie that was trouble to work on from the very first day are SO CATHARTIC. As are positive reviews for a movie that was a fun time at work!

On top of all that, the majority of the artists, leads, and coordinators I’ve worked with have been delightful people! The saving grace of the VFX and Animation industries are 100% the people you’ll work with. I’ve found most of my closest friends at studios and it’s been such a blessing to work with them. Speaking of people, enough of my yammering, let’s hear from creatives more experienced than I as to why they love filmmaking!

“‘I have often thought it was very arrogant to suppose you could make a film for anybody but yourself.’ - Peter Greenaway” (2)

“‘We don’t make movies to make money, we make money to make more movies.’ -Walt Disney” (2)

“‘When I looked at life through the camera, I felt like I could finally see it.’ -Katherine Howe” (2)

“‘For me, filmmaking combines everything. That’s the reason I’ve made cinema my life’s work. In films, painting and literature, theatre and music come together. But a film is still a film.’ -Akira Kurosawa” (3)

“‘I Hate Television. I Hate It As Much As Peanuts. But I Can’t Stop Eating Peanuts.’ – Orson Welles” (3)

Sometimes, you’re exhausted and working on a film just seems like too much. When that hits me, I’ll watch movies about making movies to get myself going again! In no particular order, here are some of my favorites:

• Ed Wood

• The Muppet Movie

• Why don’t you play in hell?

• Super 8

• Son of Rambow

• One Cut of the Dead

• Singin’ in the Rain

• Brigsby Bear

What do you love about making movies or working in vfx? What keeps you going when you face difficulties working towards your dreams?

This has been Cinema Cemetery, digging six feet deeper into film and culture.

-Josh Evans

Bibliography:

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jtuL5R-ytoM

2. https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/filmmaking

3. https://indiefilmhustle.com/filmmaking-quotes/