Cinema Cemetery

My Greatest Fear and The Muppet

This episode might be the most important I’ve ever made, at least to me.

I’m the kind of person who tears up a bit when watching emotional scenes in movies, my suspension of disbelief is directly tied to my emotions and if I’m invested in the characters then I feel what they’re feeling for better or worse.

Now, I can usually hold myself together depending on the movie, the viewing situation, and the people I’m watching it with. But there is one scene in one movie that absolutely destroys me. Every. Single. Time. Of course I’m referring to this scene from 1979’s The Muppet Movie.

I’ve been wanting to make movies since I was a preteen. I want to show people worlds they’ve never seen filled with interesting characters they’ve never met. I want to inspire the imaginations of everyone who see my stories to not only be better versions of themselves, but to challenge them to create positive change in the world around them. 

There is such a purity of imagination to Studio Ghibli or classic Disney Animation that I’m hard pressed to find in wide release animated films anymore. My goal is to make movies that would have helped the child I once was. To spark the imagination of my future children, and (if I’m lucky) to give hope to everyone out there who just feels like there has to be more to life than the mundane systems in which they’re trapped.

My journey up to this point, almost two decades after that inspiration to tell stories on screens, has largely consisted of chasing that dream. To some, it’s a career goal...it’s unrealistic...it’s not going to happen. To me it’s not a fleeting wish, it’s a concrete reality. It’s my future. I have to look at it this way because as stubborn and motivated as I am, I’m also equally terrified that I won’t make it. Sometimes I feel like I work so hard just to prove those fears wrong, that I didn’t waste my entire life chasing something so unrealistic that it could only end in failure. That’s not even the worst of it, I often feel like I’m just dragging everyone who believes in me into the desert.

I don’t know how my story ends. I don’t have the luxury of knowing if I’m ruining myself, wasting my time, or doing irreparable damage to those I love. But I do know this, I am a filmmaker. I may never get the chance to make something you see in a movie theatre and I may never have the opportunity to start my own studio. But I will never give up on pursuing that dream. This isn’t a career goal, this is a life manifestation. Giving up on that journey would not only be giving up on everyone who believed in me but it would also be giving up on my very identity as a person. 

So yes, I AM going to encounter failure. I’m going to run up against situations in life that devastate me and quite possibly derail my progress. But as long as I can pick up a camera or turn on a computer, I am still myself and I am still capable of expressing that. There is always a way out of the desert. 

It’s important to recognize your fears, to shine a light on them and, in doing so, control them.

I try to use mine as fuel, I intend to laugh about my present fears in the future and I would love for you to join me in that.

Since starting this youtube channel I’ve made three short animated films mostly by myself, I’ve chalked up 20 movie credits as a matte painter. I’ve written a feature screenplay and am working on several more, I have had the opportunity to pitch an idea to some awesome people and gotten great feedback as a result. A lot has happened in a short time and I shouldn’t try to  compare my progress to anyone else’s. I know what I want to do and where I want to go but life is chaotic and the path I forge is full of surprises. Some are amazing and some are difficult, but you...you get to be there the whole time.

A large part of this youtube channel IS very movie centric but it also has another function, think of Hungry Creature Productions as a real-time chart of my progress.

But I don’t have to feel like I’m doing this alone.

Are you an artist? I’ll need your help in the future for sure!

Are you a movie lover? I am thrilled to have you along for the ride, your eyes, your encouragement, and your comments really help me when I’m feeling down. 

Anyways, that’s my life, that’s my show, and that’s my future. What movies or scenes really resonate with you on a deeply personal level?

This has been Cinema Cemetery, digging six feet deeper into film and culture.

-Josh Evans

Bibliography:

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9WJAJLow_0

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ryEjm3k6uY0